When You Need To Feel The Pain

When You Need To Feel The Pain

Sometimes, the pain we have worked so hard to avoid is the one thing that leads us to where God calls us to go. Sometimes, feeling our need is the greatest work of faith we can surrender to.

I woke up like any other day.

But, when I got up from my bed, a sharp pain shot through my ankle. My leg jerked and my step crumpled. I couldn’t walk.

What was going on?

I hadn’t done anything strenuous. Hadn’t hurt it.
Or did I?

Read the rest by clicking on the title!

Trees versus Forest

The Spirit does not make us better than others - It makes us better than ourselves. - Joel Schmidgall 

No you can't save yourself, your soul has already been redeemed but you maybe able to save your blood vessels from. Being corroded by eating a little better or drinking on less coke. Or maybe your can save a tree by recycling.

Now before u get puffed up and proud of yourself - look at the Forrest around you. Or rather look at what used to be a forrest around you but now is a tree graveyard, each site marked by a scared stump.

But then again remember, he did not call you to save the forrest - just that one tree.

So save that tree will you?



The 10 Things you need to know about fear - (in)courage

But that He says it about 365 times in the Bible,

        

"Do not be Afraid"

— one assurance for every day — so the women of faith

believe and obey, and the rock solid truth He won’t ever leave or forsake, and there isn’t a thing in this world that can ever separate us from the love of Christ — this crazy farmer’s wife putting all that in her bag. She’s flying with that.

 

And these 10 Things to Know about Fear:

1. Don’t fear failing. Fear not obeying.

2. Fear is a fraud.

Nowhere on earth is beyond the reach of God.

3. All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends.

4. Your fears don’t decide your fate — your fears destroy your faith.

5. We must do that which we know we cannot — to prove that it’s our God who cannot fail
Our God appoints those who will disappoint — to point to a God who never disappoints.

5. Everything your Father has for you — is over the fence of fear.

6. Travel in the direction of your fears — to let God direct your life.

7. Fear doesn’t stop the really bad things as much as it stops you from really living.

8. It’s impossible to simultaneously feel fear — and give thanks.

9. Fear is always the flee ahead. God is I AM and His presence fills the present moment.

Just. Rest. in. Him. in. This. Moment.

10. Do not feed the ducks, or the bears, or the fears. Feed your soul — on the Word that is the Bread of Life.

To read the full post, click here.





Thoughts for Today

Life gets busy.

Daily reminders like these pictures and quote help keep me grounded.

...and per usual, they say things a lot better than I do!!

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

- Arthur Ashe 

The last time I read Psalm 103:1, it said, "Bless the Lord, oh my soul." It did not  say, "Oh my Lord, bless my soul."        

                             -Tommy Tenney

I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world.

Small Change

Small Change. Such a burden.

Doesn't it always amaze you when you take the change our of your pocket and how light if feels? Or feel that rush when you coin jar gets full and you find out you now have $40 of "free money" (that false sense of money same as finding a twenty in the pocket of your winter coat.)

I'm now just under the two month mark on my race countdown so I thought I'd share some of my favorite views that keep me going!

So keep filling the coin jars!

Inspiration

Now that it's officially halfway through my marathon training and fundraising, I thought it was time to give an update! Yesterday I officially ran half the distance of the marathon (!!) so we're right on track (...even if a little slow.) 



But do you know what keeps me going on those long runs??

The stories and words from the girls in the Girls in the Game programs. This is the email I received this week:

PEACE

So often in our journeys, what we desire is not bigger hills or deeper streams to forge. But neither is it easy paths or winding meadows. What we want is the peace that we're going the right way. We want the peace that things will be okay. We want the peace of a happy ending.

          ...But this isn't what's been promised to us.

No, Christ promised us peace but a peace that passes all understanding. If we always understand the road or the companions on the raod with us...well then why would we need Christ and His peace.

In the Christian faith there have become cliche verses: John 3:11, Philippians 4:1, ect ect. And while they're great and such an encouragement at times, what about the context of those verses.

Often, I've been referr to the verse "Do not be anxious.." (Philippians 4:6) but read what comes before that:

...waiting...

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." - Ecclesiastes 3:11

There is beauty in the waiting. Like those bulbs waiting patiently until it is their time to shine. He is working in me… in ways I can not see or fully understand. In the quiet and dark times, things are happening. Growing is happening. Changes are happening. Even if we do not see them.

In time, at the right time, in His time, we will see. This gives me comfort and so much hope! I do not have to see to know. I do not have to seek immediate gratification because things are coming.

Yi. B

Obedient Failure: (in)courage

Can you be an obedient failure?

What if you’ve done everything you should and nothing turns out like you thought it would? You don’t even feel or think the way you thought you would after all the hard work.

You start to wonder if you’ve failed.{You sure feel like a failure. Discouraged, disheartened, tired.}
Can those two words be planted next to each other – obedient & failure? Is that even possible as one of God’s daughters?...


To read the rest of this post, go to (in)courage blog.

Not my Reflection

One point on which Creflo Dollar and both his daughters agree is that he walked into the kitchen and said, “Why are you crying?” He already knew why. I imagine that he asked his question with a bullying tone; I imagine there was an unspoken threat behind the question, a threat with which too many are familiar: I’ll give you something to cry about.

And to the question with the obvious answer, to the veiled threat, she didn’t give the response Dollar required.....

 
To read the rest of this survivor's reflection, go to her blog The Crunk Feminist Collection

Seasons of Life

Your Love is Strong by Jake Morgan

Burden of Change

Oh that glorious day...

...that day when you finally clean out all your spare change.

It doesn't matter if it's taking it out of your purse (or pocket...) or bringing in that change jar to the bank.

Whether it's cleaning it out with just enough to pay for your parking, getting that $40 back from the bank, or finding just enough to get laundry done for the day; you suddenly feel freer, lighter, maybe even a little bit richer.

Now think of how easy, how painless that was. What a burden you didn't even know you were carrying!

But sometimes you do. 

Sometimes you do realize the burden.

You feel weighed down and like you're carrying just a little bit extra.

Week Whatever: Genesis 3

 

Have you ever read Genisis 3: The Account of The Curse?

I mean really read it.

Not with the tired eyes of a 26 year old Christian looking through the

lenses of the stories and memory verses over the past 25 years.

 But with young baby eyes of a 25 year old through the lenses of the grace and faith?

Still yes?

Okay then, riddle me this: Who did God rebuke first?

Now stop right there!

Prayers for Trusting Sight

Today I've been doing some catch up in the book of II Kings and realized just how crazy ridiculous some of those things were. Like Elisha (aka God) turning poison soup good by just adding flour or Eisha calling down fire from heaven to kill the Isreal commander and forces coming to capture him.

Like seriously?! 

However, I was struck about the tone Eisha seems to have in the miracles directly following Elijah's assessing into heaven on Chapter 1. He asks for a double portion of Elijah's gift and Elijah's response is that if Elisha sees him taken to heaven then Lord has granted his request (which He does.) However, right after Elijah "dissappears," Elisha takes Elijah's staff and says

"Where now is the Lord, God of Elijah"

What the world needs now...

Love is patient and kind; live does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS, BELIEVES ALL THINGS, HOPES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL THINGS. Love never ends...

faith hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of them is love.

                                                               

The Love Passage.

So typical, so chase, so overused. And yet...

I can't tell you how much it hit me!

Faith. Hope. Love.

I'm working on the faith (and trust) thing and loving the hope thing but...

Week 17: Communication

Communication is more than words. 

It is pictures and visions and inflections and 

emotions and

colors and brightness and 

sullenness and interpretation. 

The way an idea is communicated can make you move or make you stop. 

It can make you cry for joy or sorrow.

It stirs the soul.

 

  The best thing is that words are not needed.

Grace in Boots

We slip into believing that it's better to strive for perfection 

than to accept and offer one another grace. 

Bittersweet by Shauna Neiquist

I did it today...I made a huge fashion-fopah...

 I wore Ugg boots (okay okay Sears knock-offs)...

...with my pants tucked into them.. 

...in the middle of APRIL!!

Okay, so for all of you Midwest and (more) Northerners, this is not a rare thing. But in warmer climates like DC, well lets just say I also have a sunburn from reading outside Saturday...

But please, let me explain!

So after the 80s this weekend, DC's weather must of hit that time of month because it suddenly went from warm and blissful to frigid and cold. It was 80s on Saturday morning and 40s Monday at noon...

Also, you should know I walk a good pace before getting on to the Metro to get to work, .7 of a mile to be precise.

Lastly, I hate when my pants drag on the ground. I have even been known to tuck them into my shoes during dire straights!

So what was I to do with my cold feet, long pants, and long walk ahead of me??

Solution: Ugg boots! - I could keep my feet warm and comfy and pant pants dry and clean while not killing my back as I walked. PERFECT

Except...I am like every other all-American girl who doesn't really follow 

fashion but would like to think she has style...

So here I am, embarrassed at the way I look as I pass girls with bare legs, flats, or no coast on and me with my pants tucked into my boots.

AND THEN,

I realized something....

I AM NOT THAT COOL

That's right - I, Jennifer M Van Ee - admit that I am not the most important thing or more interesting person to look at on the planet. In fact, if I were not a giant, you may not even notice me on the street if you passed me.

Wow - talk about blow to the ego!

 

 But then again, not really. It was kind of releasing. As in "Hey Jen, the world won't fall apart if you're not there." Or "Wait a second, you spelled you name wrong again?!?!?! You are fired - JUST KIDDING!" Or "5 seconds late to church? Not here, you're right on time!"

 But it's true! All that awkwardness I felt was completely my mind. As I walked off the Metro and towards the elevators, hardly a person even glanced at me, much less my feet. 

So next time you see a girl where Uggs in the middle of April, smile at her as you pass.

But whatever you do, DO NOT LOOK AT HER FEET!

Week ?? : Getting Back on Track

After my Lent experiment of writing every day, I've taken a little bit of a break. The last two weeks have been a little feast and famine in my life - chaos and solitude - that allowed me to space to remember and reflect on the business of the last several moments, months, and moves. 

However, it also happened to remember me of my new year's commitment to 

STEADFASTNESS.

I remember committing to steadfastness in mind, body, spirit, and relationships. To making priorities and living in them. To talk in action and not words. And to write in this space at least once a week. 

I also remembered how far I have NOT come on my resolution for steadfastness. This year has only been four months and already I have gone through cycles of crazy business and restless numbing boredom. I've raced through life without intention and yet failed to race at all. I have not started exercising regularly and my eating habits go more with my mood than my stated plans.

Yet in this I find grace. A grace that before moving to DC almost 9 months ago, I had never truly experienced. The type of grace you can extend to yourself and let yourself rest in. The type of grace that allows you to hold on to the lessons of the past but not the memories or emotions. That type of grace that allows you to readjust or change course after realizing you've been heading in the wrong direction. The type of grace that rocks me to sleep each night and is new every morning.

So even if I have failed to be intentional in steadfastness these last four months, I can say that I'm definitely learning to be  STEADFAST IN GRACE.

When "It's Okay to Quit"

She did not consider her future. Therefore she has fallen astonishingly.” Lamentations 1:9

  Sometimes, life and time take over and you forget to stop and make that time your own.

  2011 was a year that I let happen to me, and I spent the majority of it depressed and unmotivated. It must sound crazy from the outside to hear that 2011 was a hard year for me spiritually and emotionally because so many amazing things happened. I sold tons of eBooks and earned a full-time income, I got two publishing deals, got asked to speak at various events, and was even about to start a new conference. Life from the outside was a dream come true.

  On the inside of this life, I was sad, and lost, and didn’t know what I was doing. I felt overwhelmed, tired, depressed, and alone. I was busy, and I didn’t take the time to eat the Word that my soul so desperately needed. I was going and going and trying to make it on my own, without trying. I didn’t pursue any of the things that happened to me, and while I am excited about them, and thankful for them, I didn’t really choose. I let things happen. It’s a strange thing when you are thrilled about something you get to do because you love it, while also feeling torn and stretched and confused about whether or not you should be doing it. And then it happens, and it’s good, and you see God all over it and you praise Him. But you are awakened to the fact that you must fight for the small, even in the blessing.


Read the rest of Sarah's encouraging blog here: Stretching into the Blue: It's Okay to Quit

Reflections on Lent: Waiting for Saturday

There is so much "hype" for Good Friday and so much for Easter morning -- and for good reason. This is the season that means to the most who confess Jesus as their Lord and Savior for it is on Easter that Christ is risen from the dead so that we may not just be saved BUT HAVE LIFE through him.

However, what do you do on this Saturday then...wait for Sunday morning? 

What does this say about how we spend the other  "in-between" days - in between jobs, 

in between relationships, in between spiritual highs...???

Most of our lives are spent in Holy Saturday. In other words, most of our days are not filled with the unbearable pain of a Good Friday. Nor are they suffused with the unbelievable joy of an Easter. Some days are indeed times of great pain and some are of great joy, but most are…in between. Most are, in fact, times of waiting, as the disciples waited during Holy Saturday. We’re waiting. Waiting to get into a good school. Waiting to meet the right person. Waiting to get pregnant. Waiting to get a job. Waiting for things at work to improve Waiting for diagnosis from the doctor. Waiting for life just to get better.

To read the rest go to, http://www.americamagazine.org/blog/entry.cfm?blog_id=2&entry_id=5043

This season of Lent has been a large part reflection and small parts doing. It's been examining our lives and habits to check them against our said priorities and God's. It's a check of how we spend of money, our time, and our emotions. But it's also been that - a check. It does no good to reflect these last 40 days if we don't take the next steps now - the steps from "to Judea to Samaria and to the ends of the earth."

Happy Lent  (and an even more HAPPY EASTER just a little early!)

Reflections on Lent: Examples of Sharing

We started this week with the idea of sharing our sacrifice, the story of our passion with others. But to do that, it's a journey of discovering that passion. Maybe that's what this journey of Lent was for you - discovering who you are in Christ and the different ways he uniquely designed you. Maybe it was drilling down into some of the fundamental ways you best connect with God and with others. Maybe it's finding the precise way you tick or way you're wound to for "such a time as this."

Whatever it is, don't let it die on Good Friday but give it over to God as Christ did through the cross - surrender your passions, your skills, and your time and watch what God will bring to life on Easter morning.

As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”

http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/encyclopedia/documentsentry/suffering_and_faith

I believe that Scripture includes such graphic material to show how far we, as a race, have fallen and how far God was willing to come to rescue us from ourselves. - Steven James


http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/25/my-take-stop-sugarcoating-the-bible/?hpt=hp_c4

Reflections on Lent: Stories of Moving

Stories: Moving from Ignorance to Knowledge to Action

The following is an excerpt from a blog linked to at the bottom of the page. It it the author describes how she came to find out about the sex trade and how that knowledge has changed her life

Where the song ended, determined which woman was selected for the night. The scholar then began to sing it in his heavy accent:

“Eenie Meenie Mini Moe …”

Hearing these words, even in a crowd of 4,000 people, hit me like a machete in my stomach.

How have I missed this? How have I perpetuated this?

While Elmina castle is infamous for the buying and selling of slave souls, somehow I’ve missed this other story happening on the sidelines of the slave horror: The story of prostituted women lined up to serve the slave traders’ sexual whims.

Now I hear these words, thick as rope, woven around the women, tying them to a destiny of diminishment.

But what if I didn’t know before?
I’ve been wondering whether we can we perpetuate the evil, even in our unknowing? Does not knowing and saying the words, carry on the diminishing?

I don’t know, but it makes me sick that I didn’t know. That this story could be so veiled to my seeing and my hearing.
It makes me sick that too many of us still don’t know.

This one thing I do know: Now that I know how these words were formed in the mouths of abusers, these words will not be spoken in my home or in my presence. I will do my utmost to educate and stop the lineage of injustice through these words wherever I can.

http://shelovesmagazine.com/2012/no-eenie-meenie-in-my-mouth/

Reflections on Lent: Seeking

What is a true characteristic of the Cristian life in the Bible? - seeking the Lord

Just look at the heroes of faith in Hebrews 11:

Enoch - didn't experience death because he was credited with true faith and having sought the Lord

Moses - sought the Lord constantly in how to lead the Israelites

Samuel - sought the Lord the middle of the night

David - man after God's own heart

Over and over again, our heroes of faith are described to have sought the Lord, cry out to the Lord showing the seeking, and command others toe seek the Lord.

But as with much I the Christian faith, they leave out a very critical point...

...How in the WORLD do you seek His face?

This week acts:s calls us to share our stories, our hearts, and our passions so here's a glimpse into mine. Right now i really need the ABC steps to know that's am seeking the Lord so I can get that blessing that's promised? This is constantly my thought. Over the last several. On the, this is the only message I seem to be getting is

God: Seek me. Be faithful in the small. Seek me.

My Response: Great. Awesome I'll do that but how?

God: Seek me. Seek me.

Me: Okay I'll just try I guess

God: Seek me. Be faithful in the small. Seek me.

Me: I thought I was?

God: Seek me. Be faithful in the small. Seek me.

Me: oh good ghandi! How can I be failing just this bad?!

God: Seek me. Be faithful in the small. Seek me.

(...think I can be a little Type A?!)

Over the last two weeks, I've hit that wall of I hunger for God and I feel like I have so much to say but am blocked. I feel cut off from him and don't know why or how to get back. Rad my billed and what spoke to me now lays silent in my lap. I try to pray but my thoughts wonder and I don't know how to address the big gap my should feels.

And still the still quiet voice whispers: Seek me. Be faithful in the small. Seek me. Just seek me.

Morning devotions was a psalm shared last night in small group: Psalm 27. Here's a portion

 

 ¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—
   whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
   of whom shall I be afraid?

 ⁴ One thing I ask from the LORD,
   this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
   all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
   and to seek him in his temple.
⁵ For in the day of trouble
   he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
   and set me high upon a rock.

 ⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
   be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
   Your face, LORD, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
   do not turn your servant away in anger;
   you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
   God my Savior.

 Did you catch that???

 ⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
   be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
   Your face, LORD, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
   do not turn your servant away in anger;
   you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
   God my Savior. 

Me: So David felt like me? So I'm not alone? So I'm not failing?! So here's my prayer:

God: No my child.  

¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
   be strong and take heart
   and wait for the LORD.

So here's my prayer for today and each moment

Father, we are truly thankful for the life of Jesus, our brother and King. In every way He came to show us how to live--how to celebrate, how to obey, how to lean into You, how to raise the spirits of others, and how to lay our life down to glorify You.  His heart was deeply rooted in You, and the rewards of His faithful obedience have covered all past and future generations. Take us to the root too. Bring us to the source of what is so hard to face. Help us accept our own humanity, our own faults and fears. Help us face what we want to avoid. Help us be honest with ourselves and others. Help us not to hide from the truth and help us keep moving forward even though it may hurt. Show us what we are to take on, be with us as we move through obstacles, pitfalls, and triumphant finishes. May our lives celebrate and honor You in our greatest ability. Amen.

-Chris Seay, A Place at the Table