Week Whatever: Genesis 3

 

Have you ever read Genisis 3: The Account of The Curse?

I mean really read it.

Not with the tired eyes of a 26 year old Christian looking through the

lenses of the stories and memory verses over the past 25 years.

 But with young baby eyes of a 25 year old through the lenses of the grace and faith?

Still yes?

Okay then, riddle me this: Who did God rebuke first?

Now stop right there!

Reflections on Lent: Labeling Myself

What's a label you've found is true about yourself during the Lent Season aka what do you miss?

potato chip-a-holic

shop-a-lic

non-water-a-holic

Whatever you've found yourself missing this Lenten season, maybe you're like me and have recently realized an addiction like how I turn to a cup of coffee as a source of calm in the storm. No seriously, just holding that cup of steaming joe has an alluring quality of calm and control that makes me feel confident approaching any situation.

Reflections on Lent: Oh the Randomness that is my thoughts

Please tell me I'm not the only one who sometimes has trouble remember how in the world I started thinking about that ice cream shop...

 in the middle of Kansas... I visited when I was 10... on the way to Denver... for Thanksgiving...

 in the middle of my board meeting?!?

As I sit and think about what informs me, describes me, and is expressed by me, I stumble on instance of this ...of random rememberings,
          ...of times of conviction and great sorrow,
                                ...of joyous times,
                                              ...of times the Lord has walked me through,
                                                              ...of times I've run away,
                                                                                  ...of times I've run to,

of times I've been surrounded by the grace and love of the Father.

Often, I write things down to help myself remember:
- what I need to get done
- what I've done
- what I want to do
- people I need to call
- things I need to create
...etc. etc.

Lists to Remember

As I stumbles on the slideshow above, I thought to myself "What if I knew these types of things about the people in my life?"

What would sharing you daily lists/thoughts with those you are closest with do? 
What would it change in your life if anything? 
Would it change your relationship with them? 
Would it change how you saw and approached the world?

Just some random thoughts in my head in the middle of my board meeting...

In Year in Review and Preview

 "He will keep in perfect peace those whose mind are steadfast, for they trust in Him. Trust in the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock Eternal" - Isaiah 26:4

As 2011 came to a close, I spent the last month or so really just trying to catch up. It was a year of filled pursuit - being pursued by God as well as pursuing God like never before. Come November, I was weary - emotionally, physically, and relationally.

I needed to go home. 

Picture this...

...little boys...

If you're like me you have a pictures of adorably ornery little boys in your life, like me and my nephews affectionately know as "Runt" and "Squirt" by my brother-in-law!

Being here in DC, I miss them like CrAzY?!?! 

War

The expected's just the beginning, its the unexpected that will change your life...

This month has been a month of God sized dreams. All around me, I have seen God move and grow in my loved ones’ lives. I have personally been able to check TWO things of my bucklist and to make it better yet, both were because of my church. I have seen callings places – big ones no one thinks about – God-sized ones! - And the paths to bring them completion. I have had conversations that show God, wrestling with God, searching for His will, and seeking His face. 

But this isn’t to say it has come easy. Many of these stories began with pain and problems. And I’ve come out resenting God at times for the great and amazing work He’s given me, planned for me, equipped me for...

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Growing up, it was always me leaving – going away to camp by myself, taking a trip by myself, joining rec leagues by myself, leaving to go to a college by myself. And though I like to think I’ve gotten older and wiser, I can’t say I’m a 100% okay will it even being on the other side and seems how God has used it. I desperately wanted acceptance, a friend group, to just be and feel normal. To go to college to be a nurse or teacher or the coveted MRS degree, but again that was not His will. 
 

I remember a conversation with my friend our senior year. I was majoring in Political Science and she genetic biology.I asked her if she ever felt like she just had to do something; if she ever resented being called to something big. She didn’t and again I felt alone.

The next stage of life left me in a place where I was still not similar. Though people weren’t getting married and having babies, they felt it strange that that was a big desire in my heart at the young age of 23. Again, I felt alone and I resented. But this time, I rebelled. After two long years of growth and struggle, I can say I’ve come out the other side and strive to be a woman after God’s own heart.

But still I resent. I resent that I was always called to leave while others stayed. That I was going to grad school and moving across the country when my friends and sisters were married, close to home, and having kids. How I longed to be held by my Mr. Right and hold my baby. But now, now I am called to stay and everyone around me feels called to go. My career vision is domestic and everyone who has my interests feel called to go. Again, I resent.

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A good friend of mine recently said “maybe you were just meant to sit with this discomfort.” And maybe he was right....

...scratch that…he was DEFINITELY right...

(though it pains me to admit that to him…!)

Through this time of God-sized dreams being revealed and blackness of resentment in my soul, I have realized something – that it isn’t my to decide, to accept, to plan, or to even to do.

It is God's.

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So that’s my prayer –

that I stop stressing about understanding and start seeking His wisdom.

I stop resenting an unfair god and start requesting the presence of my King

I stop planning and start preparing.

 

That’s what this blog is about.

Taking the time to see the God sightings in my life – whether through a shared cup of coffee, a knowing smile, a beautiful sunset, the smile of a gracious stranger, or seeing the hand seek to serve. It may be in the perfect baby J, the cupcake someone bought, the dinner shared with friends, or the flower that finds a way to bloom in the crack of a side walk. So here’s to a new chapter of life, a new conviction to follow, and a new perspective on my daily walk.

For out of mess, God brings beauty.