Week 17: Communication

Communication is more than words. 

It is pictures and visions and inflections and 

emotions and

colors and brightness and 

sullenness and interpretation. 

The way an idea is communicated can make you move or make you stop. 

It can make you cry for joy or sorrow.

It stirs the soul.

 

  The best thing is that words are not needed.

Grace in Boots

We slip into believing that it's better to strive for perfection 

than to accept and offer one another grace. 

Bittersweet by Shauna Neiquist

I did it today...I made a huge fashion-fopah...

 I wore Ugg boots (okay okay Sears knock-offs)...

...with my pants tucked into them.. 

...in the middle of APRIL!!

Okay, so for all of you Midwest and (more) Northerners, this is not a rare thing. But in warmer climates like DC, well lets just say I also have a sunburn from reading outside Saturday...

But please, let me explain!

So after the 80s this weekend, DC's weather must of hit that time of month because it suddenly went from warm and blissful to frigid and cold. It was 80s on Saturday morning and 40s Monday at noon...

Also, you should know I walk a good pace before getting on to the Metro to get to work, .7 of a mile to be precise.

Lastly, I hate when my pants drag on the ground. I have even been known to tuck them into my shoes during dire straights!

So what was I to do with my cold feet, long pants, and long walk ahead of me??

Solution: Ugg boots! - I could keep my feet warm and comfy and pant pants dry and clean while not killing my back as I walked. PERFECT

Except...I am like every other all-American girl who doesn't really follow 

fashion but would like to think she has style...

So here I am, embarrassed at the way I look as I pass girls with bare legs, flats, or no coast on and me with my pants tucked into my boots.

AND THEN,

I realized something....

I AM NOT THAT COOL

That's right - I, Jennifer M Van Ee - admit that I am not the most important thing or more interesting person to look at on the planet. In fact, if I were not a giant, you may not even notice me on the street if you passed me.

Wow - talk about blow to the ego!

 

 But then again, not really. It was kind of releasing. As in "Hey Jen, the world won't fall apart if you're not there." Or "Wait a second, you spelled you name wrong again?!?!?! You are fired - JUST KIDDING!" Or "5 seconds late to church? Not here, you're right on time!"

 But it's true! All that awkwardness I felt was completely my mind. As I walked off the Metro and towards the elevators, hardly a person even glanced at me, much less my feet. 

So next time you see a girl where Uggs in the middle of April, smile at her as you pass.

But whatever you do, DO NOT LOOK AT HER FEET!

Week ?? : Getting Back on Track

After my Lent experiment of writing every day, I've taken a little bit of a break. The last two weeks have been a little feast and famine in my life - chaos and solitude - that allowed me to space to remember and reflect on the business of the last several moments, months, and moves. 

However, it also happened to remember me of my new year's commitment to 

STEADFASTNESS.

I remember committing to steadfastness in mind, body, spirit, and relationships. To making priorities and living in them. To talk in action and not words. And to write in this space at least once a week. 

I also remembered how far I have NOT come on my resolution for steadfastness. This year has only been four months and already I have gone through cycles of crazy business and restless numbing boredom. I've raced through life without intention and yet failed to race at all. I have not started exercising regularly and my eating habits go more with my mood than my stated plans.

Yet in this I find grace. A grace that before moving to DC almost 9 months ago, I had never truly experienced. The type of grace you can extend to yourself and let yourself rest in. The type of grace that allows you to hold on to the lessons of the past but not the memories or emotions. That type of grace that allows you to readjust or change course after realizing you've been heading in the wrong direction. The type of grace that rocks me to sleep each night and is new every morning.

So even if I have failed to be intentional in steadfastness these last four months, I can say that I'm definitely learning to be  STEADFAST IN GRACE.

When "It's Okay to Quit"

She did not consider her future. Therefore she has fallen astonishingly.” Lamentations 1:9

  Sometimes, life and time take over and you forget to stop and make that time your own.

  2011 was a year that I let happen to me, and I spent the majority of it depressed and unmotivated. It must sound crazy from the outside to hear that 2011 was a hard year for me spiritually and emotionally because so many amazing things happened. I sold tons of eBooks and earned a full-time income, I got two publishing deals, got asked to speak at various events, and was even about to start a new conference. Life from the outside was a dream come true.

  On the inside of this life, I was sad, and lost, and didn’t know what I was doing. I felt overwhelmed, tired, depressed, and alone. I was busy, and I didn’t take the time to eat the Word that my soul so desperately needed. I was going and going and trying to make it on my own, without trying. I didn’t pursue any of the things that happened to me, and while I am excited about them, and thankful for them, I didn’t really choose. I let things happen. It’s a strange thing when you are thrilled about something you get to do because you love it, while also feeling torn and stretched and confused about whether or not you should be doing it. And then it happens, and it’s good, and you see God all over it and you praise Him. But you are awakened to the fact that you must fight for the small, even in the blessing.


Read the rest of Sarah's encouraging blog here: Stretching into the Blue: It's Okay to Quit

Reflections on Lent: Waiting for Saturday

There is so much "hype" for Good Friday and so much for Easter morning -- and for good reason. This is the season that means to the most who confess Jesus as their Lord and Savior for it is on Easter that Christ is risen from the dead so that we may not just be saved BUT HAVE LIFE through him.

However, what do you do on this Saturday then...wait for Sunday morning? 

What does this say about how we spend the other  "in-between" days - in between jobs, 

in between relationships, in between spiritual highs...???

Most of our lives are spent in Holy Saturday. In other words, most of our days are not filled with the unbearable pain of a Good Friday. Nor are they suffused with the unbelievable joy of an Easter. Some days are indeed times of great pain and some are of great joy, but most are…in between. Most are, in fact, times of waiting, as the disciples waited during Holy Saturday. We’re waiting. Waiting to get into a good school. Waiting to meet the right person. Waiting to get pregnant. Waiting to get a job. Waiting for things at work to improve Waiting for diagnosis from the doctor. Waiting for life just to get better.

To read the rest go to, http://www.americamagazine.org/blog/entry.cfm?blog_id=2&entry_id=5043

This season of Lent has been a large part reflection and small parts doing. It's been examining our lives and habits to check them against our said priorities and God's. It's a check of how we spend of money, our time, and our emotions. But it's also been that - a check. It does no good to reflect these last 40 days if we don't take the next steps now - the steps from "to Judea to Samaria and to the ends of the earth."

Happy Lent  (and an even more HAPPY EASTER just a little early!)

Reflections on Lent: Examples of Sharing

We started this week with the idea of sharing our sacrifice, the story of our passion with others. But to do that, it's a journey of discovering that passion. Maybe that's what this journey of Lent was for you - discovering who you are in Christ and the different ways he uniquely designed you. Maybe it was drilling down into some of the fundamental ways you best connect with God and with others. Maybe it's finding the precise way you tick or way you're wound to for "such a time as this."

Whatever it is, don't let it die on Good Friday but give it over to God as Christ did through the cross - surrender your passions, your skills, and your time and watch what God will bring to life on Easter morning.

As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”

http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/encyclopedia/documentsentry/suffering_and_faith

I believe that Scripture includes such graphic material to show how far we, as a race, have fallen and how far God was willing to come to rescue us from ourselves. - Steven James


http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/25/my-take-stop-sugarcoating-the-bible/?hpt=hp_c4

Reflections on Lent: Stories of Moving

Stories: Moving from Ignorance to Knowledge to Action

The following is an excerpt from a blog linked to at the bottom of the page. It it the author describes how she came to find out about the sex trade and how that knowledge has changed her life

Where the song ended, determined which woman was selected for the night. The scholar then began to sing it in his heavy accent:

“Eenie Meenie Mini Moe …”

Hearing these words, even in a crowd of 4,000 people, hit me like a machete in my stomach.

How have I missed this? How have I perpetuated this?

While Elmina castle is infamous for the buying and selling of slave souls, somehow I’ve missed this other story happening on the sidelines of the slave horror: The story of prostituted women lined up to serve the slave traders’ sexual whims.

Now I hear these words, thick as rope, woven around the women, tying them to a destiny of diminishment.

But what if I didn’t know before?
I’ve been wondering whether we can we perpetuate the evil, even in our unknowing? Does not knowing and saying the words, carry on the diminishing?

I don’t know, but it makes me sick that I didn’t know. That this story could be so veiled to my seeing and my hearing.
It makes me sick that too many of us still don’t know.

This one thing I do know: Now that I know how these words were formed in the mouths of abusers, these words will not be spoken in my home or in my presence. I will do my utmost to educate and stop the lineage of injustice through these words wherever I can.

http://shelovesmagazine.com/2012/no-eenie-meenie-in-my-mouth/

Reflections on Lent: Seeking

What is a true characteristic of the Cristian life in the Bible? - seeking the Lord

Just look at the heroes of faith in Hebrews 11:

Enoch - didn't experience death because he was credited with true faith and having sought the Lord

Moses - sought the Lord constantly in how to lead the Israelites

Samuel - sought the Lord the middle of the night

David - man after God's own heart

Over and over again, our heroes of faith are described to have sought the Lord, cry out to the Lord showing the seeking, and command others toe seek the Lord.

But as with much I the Christian faith, they leave out a very critical point...

...How in the WORLD do you seek His face?

This week acts:s calls us to share our stories, our hearts, and our passions so here's a glimpse into mine. Right now i really need the ABC steps to know that's am seeking the Lord so I can get that blessing that's promised? This is constantly my thought. Over the last several. On the, this is the only message I seem to be getting is

God: Seek me. Be faithful in the small. Seek me.

My Response: Great. Awesome I'll do that but how?

God: Seek me. Seek me.

Me: Okay I'll just try I guess

God: Seek me. Be faithful in the small. Seek me.

Me: I thought I was?

God: Seek me. Be faithful in the small. Seek me.

Me: oh good ghandi! How can I be failing just this bad?!

God: Seek me. Be faithful in the small. Seek me.

(...think I can be a little Type A?!)

Over the last two weeks, I've hit that wall of I hunger for God and I feel like I have so much to say but am blocked. I feel cut off from him and don't know why or how to get back. Rad my billed and what spoke to me now lays silent in my lap. I try to pray but my thoughts wonder and I don't know how to address the big gap my should feels.

And still the still quiet voice whispers: Seek me. Be faithful in the small. Seek me. Just seek me.

Morning devotions was a psalm shared last night in small group: Psalm 27. Here's a portion

 

 ¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—
   whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
   of whom shall I be afraid?

 ⁴ One thing I ask from the LORD,
   this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
   all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
   and to seek him in his temple.
⁵ For in the day of trouble
   he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
   and set me high upon a rock.

 ⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
   be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
   Your face, LORD, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
   do not turn your servant away in anger;
   you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
   God my Savior.

 Did you catch that???

 ⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
   be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
   Your face, LORD, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
   do not turn your servant away in anger;
   you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
   God my Savior. 

Me: So David felt like me? So I'm not alone? So I'm not failing?! So here's my prayer:

God: No my child.  

¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
   be strong and take heart
   and wait for the LORD.

So here's my prayer for today and each moment

Father, we are truly thankful for the life of Jesus, our brother and King. In every way He came to show us how to live--how to celebrate, how to obey, how to lean into You, how to raise the spirits of others, and how to lay our life down to glorify You.  His heart was deeply rooted in You, and the rewards of His faithful obedience have covered all past and future generations. Take us to the root too. Bring us to the source of what is so hard to face. Help us accept our own humanity, our own faults and fears. Help us face what we want to avoid. Help us be honest with ourselves and others. Help us not to hide from the truth and help us keep moving forward even though it may hurt. Show us what we are to take on, be with us as we move through obstacles, pitfalls, and triumphant finishes. May our lives celebrate and honor You in our greatest ability. Amen.

-Chris Seay, A Place at the Table

Reflections on Lent: Witness and Praise

When thinking about the challenge the act:s team has put before the community this week, I was struck by the significance of sharing - not just information but your story, not just your cause but your path. Then I read this blog "When Rocks Look Like Shoes" and realized, yet again it goes beyond sharing our story to praising our Lord. 

To share our story with God - to celebrate it with Him - is the best celebration there is. 

When we humbly come before our Creator - the Author of Life - and praise Him for the stories He was written and worked in our lives, we are the one who are blessed. We are the ones who receive courage and strength and joy. 

So share today what the Lord has done with ours but most importantly with your Father.

Reflections on Lent: Sacrifice yourself

You've got to share your toys. 

You're going to bed right now if you don't let your sister play with that. 

Santa won't like it if you don't share your toys.

These were the messages about sharing we got taught as children. Today it comes in much subtler nudges such as:

Can I try your cheeseburger?

Can I borrow that sweater?

Do you have a cheese grate I could borrow?

All things you may have asked yourself but some much harder when they're asked of us. Well this week - our last week - of Lent, act:s is calling us to share - share you sacrifices. share you passions. share your struggles. and share Christ.

act:s Week 6

"If you are truly passionate about something, there is a story that lead you to be passionate about it. And it is in that story that someone can relate to your passion and get involved...and that's where the power lay."

Reflections on Lent: The Art of Rest

Emily Freeman

Sometime between April of 1977 and April of now, I forgot how to rest. Oh, I can fall on my pillow at night and sleep. I can sit and watch Downton Abbey for hours. I know how to read a book on the beach. But sleep is often different from rest. And lots of times I’m watching Downton because I’m avoiding real work. And when I’m at the beach, I’m on vacation so rest is kind of a requirement.

Over the past year, there have been times when I have felt breathless, never able to catch up, not even sure what I was chasing. I forgot how to plan for rest during hours where I am fully awake, able bodied and not on vacation.

            Read the rest at (in)courage.