"Burried before they Lived"

What holds you be back in your personal life? What steals your peace and replaces it with restless nights and quickened steps? What drives to your everyday actions? -- Want to know mine?

-- fear --

Sometimes its literal fear of an attacker that makes me hold my purse a little closer and walk just a bit faster. Sometimes its fear of failure that drives me to maddening perfectionism and destroys my resolve to finally break my nail-biting habit. And sometimes it's the fear of looking stupid so never stepping out to try something new. 

These are really just fear of one thing - one maddening, frightening, perplexing thing

... rejection...

I fear not measuring up so I don't try. I fear getting laughed at so I fail to be myself. I fear thought of incompetent so I work harder. All these are fear of rejection - not being smart enough, not being pretty enough, not being witty enough, not be productive enough - NOT BEING ENOUGH!

I think as women we really struggle with this especially when it comes to personal relationships and especially in romantic relationships. How often do you change your clothes 17 times before grabbing coffee with a guy friend? Or the one I'm guilty of - checking my reflection in any and all reflective image I walk by.

What I hadn't thought about though was the fact that this is really  just pride - pride that I think I can be enough, pride that others should see me as that, pride that I deserve this. 

Here's the things -- In recognizing my pride and fear, there's an extreme sense of power and strength that I now experience. A power and strength to make good on the commitment to kick the habit. A peace that passes understanding that I will fail but that I will succeed.

So here's to kicking the prideful habit of fear. To staring it staight in the face and

..stepping past fear into new experiences....
                         
...being uncomfortable but in my own skin all the time...

                    

...taking risks not because of me or my abilities
but because of He who is IN me.

Check out this other blog about fear and God's message of secure love He wishes to whisper into our souls - http://www.incourage.me/2011/09/if-youve-ever-been-wounded-by-women.html